i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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