I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
