Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
