I need help removing her.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
