It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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