I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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