I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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