apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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