p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
