I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
