Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
