He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
