We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I will be naked everywhere
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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