whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
