someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
