Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
