look no pants
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
