he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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