remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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