hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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