when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
