You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
