Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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