Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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