I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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