Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
where are my eyebrows?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
