But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
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She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
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with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize