she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
FUCK WHALES
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
