I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
