Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
