I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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