Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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