but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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