It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
