wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
