Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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