Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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