i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
