in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Drake has all the answers
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
