weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
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I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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