We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
