Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
