I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
