Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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