I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize