You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
