She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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