Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
