Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The adults are the big ones right?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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