You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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