You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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