Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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