Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Michael Bay diarrhea
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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