whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
