I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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