I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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