Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
