I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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